It's going too fast!

Okay so here's the deal, I know that I haven't written on here since I found out that I am going to Disney, but that is because life is going SUPER fast and has been super busy. This is just a quick update since I need to get a lot of work done in a little amount of time.

I am leaving for Florida in 6 days and start my program in 8. I will get the chance to stay at AKL before I start my program which will be AMAZING!!! I am really excited and cannot wait to start. However I am also very nervous. I don't want to leave my job, my friends and especially my family, but I have to and it will be an amazing experience. That's all for now since I have craploads to do today.

Spring Break

I'm sorry I haven't updated lately but I was home for Spring Break and was unable to update, however a lot has happened since then!

First and most importantly: I GOT ACCEPTED!!! Now, because I was home I had worried that I would not find out before Spring Break so I e-mailed my recruiter and told her my situation. Two days later (the first day of my spring break) she called me to tell me that I was accepted into the program! It was amazing! I was bouncing around the house and she could tell I was extremely excited, but that's not the best news! The best news is that I got ATTRACTIONS!!!! Ahhh! I am soooo excited! I couldn't stop screaming and all of my brothers and sisters were jumping around the house right along with me! It was AWESOME!

I still do not have my actual letter yet, but it will hopefully be here tomorrow so I can accept and sign up for a date to get there. I am hoping on the 28th and I am hoping that somebody I have been talking to on facebook will end up being my roomie because she seems really interesting and pretty laid back! this is turning out to be so amazing!

Aside from that I have still been having a difficult time preparing myself for leaving Oswego and all of my friends here. mainly because the majority (I would say about 85% or more, no lie) of my friends will not be here when I return from Florida. They will have either graduated or gone to do student teaching. The good part is that I will be making lots of friends once I get down to Florida! :D

Anyway, this is all for now, until I actually get that letter in my hand and sign up for a date that is!
Have a great day!

UGH

[NOTE] this is not ENTIRELY about Disney, it is just something I need to get out, somewhere, some how.

The one person I'm going to miss the most, the one I have cried about leaving the most is also the one I fight with the most. I am sick of it. I need to talk through problems, he needs to slam the door in my face. I need an explanation, he needs to get over it and its done with.

I want this Disney thing a lot, but I don't want to lose what I have. I'm afraid, I'm sad, I'm nervous and now I can't even seem to keep the connection with the one person I need it from the most. Sure I'm going to miss my other co-workers and friends, and of course my family, but he's the person I am the closest to. he knows me (as he says) better than I know myself. Which doesn't make any sense, but whatever.

I'm pissed off right now. I'm angry and upset and frustrated that I can't just explain myself to him. I do stupid things...a lot. But not dangerously stupid things. I make mistakes and I act dumb...a lot. I admit it. I need his support, I need to not fight anymore. I need last year back...or at least last semester.

I want more time with my friends, and I don't want to have to deal with looking for grad schools while I am in Florida. I don't want to have to deal with most of my friends graduating while I am in Florida. My home for the past 3 years will be foreign to me and when I get back I might not fit back into my niche. I don't want to lose my friends and my connections, but when I get back I will only have one more semester with the ones that will still be here. It scares the shit out of me and these stupid fights make it worse. I hope you're reading this because I need you to know this, and every time I try you just tell me "oh stop!". I can't stop crying this week and for once it's not because of bipolar disorder. For once it's because I genuinely feel pain and am afraid. I want so badly to go to Albany after I graduate because you will be there and I am so utterly afraid to lose your friendship just because I am far away. I worry about that more than you know, and it might seem silly but it honestly is a big deal for me. I am sorry...Hillary was right, I depend on you too much. This should probably go into the sorry box but it was just too important to be jotted down in a hurry. I'm scared to death and I don't know what to do. I can't fight anymore. I hope you understand all of this because I know I won't be able to just tell you. I really hope that after I send this link to you you'll actually read this.

I know that it is my insecurity that makes me worry about this, but I always question if you are sick and tired of me and my antics and I always wonder why you still stay friends with me. Stupid, I know. Over dramatic, probably. But true none the less. Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for me. You are the best friend in the world and are an amazing and very talented person who I am honored to be friends with. I love you, "ya dumbass" :-p

<3

They're gonna ban me from the desk soon...

Nope, it didn't come today either. I am going crazy! It has been 3 1/2 weeks since my interview and I need to know before I go on Spring Break. I already have the entire desk staff searching through the mail and putting me on speed dial if they see anything! Pretty soon they'll have enough, revolt and ban me from setting foot near the desk (even though I work there too!).

What can I do from keeping myself from going absolutely mad while I wait in anticipation for this letter to arrive? Listen to music? No! I ended up listening to Disney songs which made me more anxious. Watch TV? NO! I saw a commercial for WDW and I cried a little on the inside. Go down and hang out with my friends at the desk? No, then I start looking at the mailbox and whine a bit. How about play a game, wait that doesn't work because all I ever want to play is Disney Trivia! So I had the brilliant idea of going online, that will distract me.

Did I just forget that I spend about 93% of my time online on either the Disney CP facebook group or on the DIS boards? So this is why I am updating and you get to read a long, rambling post.

Other than being extremely anxious and excited about 23 1/2 hours a day I have been a tad overwhelmed with classes, which isn't good because I need to keep my scholarship and stay in ODK which requires me to maintain a 3.0 GPA. I am going to spend this entire weekend catching up on work for all of my classes. This will hopefully help me get back in the game and get focused on what I need to do.

Well, since I just e-mailed the recruiting e-mail address since it's been over 3 weeks and I haven't heard anything (and they said to e-mail them if that happened) I think I'll get away from the computer for awhile and watch some Family Feud while I wait for my friend to get dinner.

Have a great day!

Nope.

Well Angela called me to tell me that the mail has finally arrived, and there was nothing for me in it. Oh well, I thought today was the day but i guess it wasn't.

Peace out cub scouts!

The mail's late, and I'm going crazy!

The mail usually gets to my building around 11am, but today it's almost 2 and it's still not here. It's not that I'm expecting my letter today, I just REALLY want it (as does my mother who is living on the DIS boards until I get it, hehe). So what am I doing to keep sane you ask? Music, lots and lots of music. Oh, and the facebook group of course!

[NOTE] Fallon! I am so sorry that you were not told the requirements when you self termed and I am sad that we won't get to work together, but keep you head up and try for the next semester! <3

I just called our front desk where my friend Melissa is working right now to see if the mail came, it hasn't. Oh well, let me just try and forget it while I listen to music while reading my Family Counseling book. Sorry if this is a random and crazy post, but as you can tell I am quite anxious! Hahaa!

have a great day!

Finding my Laughing Place

So, I am still waiting for that darn letter to come from Disney telling me how amazing it would be if I came and did the Disney College Program (haha...a girl can dream, can't she?). Usually I'd be off the wall with anticipation and anxious every minute, but I'm not. The reason being quite simple actually! Our Disney CP Fall 08 Facebook group, or as we said in our nightly chat last night our "extended family!" That's really what it seems like.

None of of have ever met each other, there are 170ish students from across the United States with completely different backgrounds and interests with one thing in common: our love for Disney! It is truly amazing!

I love my CP Facebook friends, and our nightly chats really give us a way to de-stress and get to know each other better. Heck, we're all going to be there together anyway right?

So here's to you (Mrs. Robinson) my fellow facebook CPs: We can do this thing!! Those of us waiting for auditions, letters or just waiting for it to be May, June or August! We'll do it our way! We're gonna rock! :D

Home for the weekend...

I had to go home for the weekend to go to a very important doctor's appointment, so I wasn't really able to update this at all. Basically all that happened was I went to the Dr.'s office, got blood taken for different tests, got put on medication that will help for my anxiety (YAY! Now I'll be less anxious while I'm waiting for my letter!) and just chilled out.

Other than that I have just been enjoying being home and hanging out with friends and the sibs. I'm watching Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (Tim Burton is my HERO) and keeping an eye on the girls while they play in the snow outside. I really don't want to go back to campus, but if I don't I will miss a staff meeting and not get my hw done (and trust me...I need to work on my hw, I want to make it to Disney, right?).

Well that's it for right now, I just didn't want to leave everyone hanging :-p

Have a great day!

I'm not there yet!

For those of you who might not know me, I must say that even though I LOVE Disney and have wanted to do this program for years, this is a huge risk for me. I am one of those people who enjoys being in their comfort zone and I have found my comfort zone at my amazing school. I have an amazing job (which really is the one thing I love about my school the most). If it were not for my job, I wouldn't know most of my friends and I really wouldn't have a support system here at Oswego. I am a resident mentor (RM) in a residence hall for first-year students. I help these students adapt to college living and provide resources (and a class) for them to find their place in their campus community.

This is my second year working as a RM and third year working for Residence Life and Housing. I think it's actually what I want to do if I don't end up working for the lovely Disney. I love working with college students! :D

Now, fast forward to today. I am not in Disney. I am in Oswego, NY with a foot of snow outside and I just got back from a "Student Development and Transitions Committee Meeting". I have a bulletin board to make, a black history month social to do, fire inspections for 15 rooms, references to finish, a class tonight, a social when I get back and I still have reading to do for tomorrow before I go home for my weekend away. Reality. It's a funny thing.

I am so excited to go, yet I haven't gotten that wonderfully magical purple folder yet. I need to use this excitement in a more productive way before I become completely useless as an RM and a student!

It's time for an attitude adjustments! (Robin would be proud...hehe) So it's time to use this as a motivational tool instead of a distraction (when I started writing that i accidentally wrote 'disney' because it starts with dis...do you see what i mean? HAHAHA).

Well, I'm off to go get some work done and have a good day! I hope you have one as well!!!

I hate waiting!

So in all reality, I have to wait until about Spring Break to see if I made it to the program. Knowing my luck it will be sent to my school DURING Spring Break! :-p I hate having to wait! Ahhh!

I am so happy for the people on the DIS Board and facebook group that have already gotten their acceptance letters and assignments! Congrats to all of you! Now every time I look at my calender I count how many weeks I have left! Haha! Crazy, huh? It's only been 9 days since I interviewed!

Anyway, asides from disliking having to wait, I am very excited for the people who have gotten accepted, and I am very excited/nervous to find out whether I have been accepted or not! I have been trying to focus on what I need to accomplish now instead of living in daydream world only thinking about Disney (though I have been watching Disney movies A LOT lately...:-p) but my time shall come and I will be on here to tell the world. Okay, well not the world, maybe the people who actually read this!

Have a great day!!

Wondering...

So I have been connecting with people on the DIS boards and also on facebook who are also waiting to hear back from Disney about the program (some of them got their letters today!). I'm excited for all of them and also very happy to have this support system.

[sidenote] Speaking of support systems thank goodness for my amazing friends and family who are being so amazing about this entire thing! It is so great to hear from you all!

So I have been less motivated lately and I do believe that my wonderful, amazing friend Scott has figured out why: I think I'm already in Florida, minus of course the single digit temperatures and 2 feet of snow of course. So my goal for the next week or so is to focus on my responsibilities NOW and not later. If I don't do well here, I won't be able to do well in Florida.

That's it for now, I'm going to finally get to bed. I just thought I would post this small yet insightful update.

Have a great day!!! :D

Now the waiting begins...

So, I have had my phone interview. It went very well I feel, and as nervous as I was I do believe that I answered the questions well and came across as a positive, "can-do" person (like Patrick, my wonderful cousin, told me to).

The interview originally seemed to be the difficult part of this journey that I am making, boy was I ever wrong. After the interview I had to fax in and mail out my role checklist and my application. I had Trent fax it for me and I finally was able to send it in the mail today. Now the waiting begins...

Not only am I nervous that I somehow won't make it or that they will have already hired enough people when my application gets there, I now have to wait approximately 4 weeks to hear about whether I have been accepted or not! That's a whole month of me fretting, possibly over nothing. Oh well, I know that with the supportive friends that I have and the positive attitude that I will maintain this wait will not only go by fast but will also be a very enjoyable, educational moment for me. This process alone is a learning experience, which is quite amazing I might add.

Now, by reading this far into my blog (the two whole entries!) you might think that I am just super excited and ready to go. You might have a point, but still I have been very nervous and apprehensive as well. I have finally found my niche here at SUNY Oswego. I am a Resident Mentor in a first year program residence hall, i am very involved with Residence Life and Housing, am on a Leadership Development Committee, a Student Development and Transitions Committee, have been interviewing judicial and Res. Life professional candidates and have been having an overall great time being a member of my campus community. So what do I decide to do? Apply for an eight-month internship in Florida (which if you didn't know is a VERY long way from Oswego, NY).

Oh well, it's all part of the learning and maturing process right? I hope so, because even if it might not seem like a risk to others, just applying for this wonderful opportunity is a GIANT risk for me. I'm excited though, and I cannot wait for four weeks to go by so I will find out the results.

Stay with me, because I will keep this posted with anything related to this internship! have a great day!

It starts today!

So, as you will find out as the days go on, I am in love with Disney. From the movies, theme parks, books and overall magic and wonder it creates. This, among many other reasons is why I am applying for the Disney College Program.

The Disney College Program is an amazing program through Walt Disney World which provides paid internships to college students who make it through the application process. Walt Disney World is the destination of my dream job as being an Imagineer (the amazingly talented people who create the "Disney Magic" everyday). I want to get into this program and use my experience to learn as much about myself and the company as I possible can.

Tomorrow starts this amazing journey with a lovely little phone interview in the morning.
Wish me luck, I'll be back soon.