Spring Break

I'm sorry I haven't updated lately but I was home for Spring Break and was unable to update, however a lot has happened since then!

First and most importantly: I GOT ACCEPTED!!! Now, because I was home I had worried that I would not find out before Spring Break so I e-mailed my recruiter and told her my situation. Two days later (the first day of my spring break) she called me to tell me that I was accepted into the program! It was amazing! I was bouncing around the house and she could tell I was extremely excited, but that's not the best news! The best news is that I got ATTRACTIONS!!!! Ahhh! I am soooo excited! I couldn't stop screaming and all of my brothers and sisters were jumping around the house right along with me! It was AWESOME!

I still do not have my actual letter yet, but it will hopefully be here tomorrow so I can accept and sign up for a date to get there. I am hoping on the 28th and I am hoping that somebody I have been talking to on facebook will end up being my roomie because she seems really interesting and pretty laid back! this is turning out to be so amazing!

Aside from that I have still been having a difficult time preparing myself for leaving Oswego and all of my friends here. mainly because the majority (I would say about 85% or more, no lie) of my friends will not be here when I return from Florida. They will have either graduated or gone to do student teaching. The good part is that I will be making lots of friends once I get down to Florida! :D

Anyway, this is all for now, until I actually get that letter in my hand and sign up for a date that is!
Have a great day!

UGH

[NOTE] this is not ENTIRELY about Disney, it is just something I need to get out, somewhere, some how.

The one person I'm going to miss the most, the one I have cried about leaving the most is also the one I fight with the most. I am sick of it. I need to talk through problems, he needs to slam the door in my face. I need an explanation, he needs to get over it and its done with.

I want this Disney thing a lot, but I don't want to lose what I have. I'm afraid, I'm sad, I'm nervous and now I can't even seem to keep the connection with the one person I need it from the most. Sure I'm going to miss my other co-workers and friends, and of course my family, but he's the person I am the closest to. he knows me (as he says) better than I know myself. Which doesn't make any sense, but whatever.

I'm pissed off right now. I'm angry and upset and frustrated that I can't just explain myself to him. I do stupid things...a lot. But not dangerously stupid things. I make mistakes and I act dumb...a lot. I admit it. I need his support, I need to not fight anymore. I need last year back...or at least last semester.

I want more time with my friends, and I don't want to have to deal with looking for grad schools while I am in Florida. I don't want to have to deal with most of my friends graduating while I am in Florida. My home for the past 3 years will be foreign to me and when I get back I might not fit back into my niche. I don't want to lose my friends and my connections, but when I get back I will only have one more semester with the ones that will still be here. It scares the shit out of me and these stupid fights make it worse. I hope you're reading this because I need you to know this, and every time I try you just tell me "oh stop!". I can't stop crying this week and for once it's not because of bipolar disorder. For once it's because I genuinely feel pain and am afraid. I want so badly to go to Albany after I graduate because you will be there and I am so utterly afraid to lose your friendship just because I am far away. I worry about that more than you know, and it might seem silly but it honestly is a big deal for me. I am sorry...Hillary was right, I depend on you too much. This should probably go into the sorry box but it was just too important to be jotted down in a hurry. I'm scared to death and I don't know what to do. I can't fight anymore. I hope you understand all of this because I know I won't be able to just tell you. I really hope that after I send this link to you you'll actually read this.

I know that it is my insecurity that makes me worry about this, but I always question if you are sick and tired of me and my antics and I always wonder why you still stay friends with me. Stupid, I know. Over dramatic, probably. But true none the less. Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for me. You are the best friend in the world and are an amazing and very talented person who I am honored to be friends with. I love you, "ya dumbass" :-p

<3

They're gonna ban me from the desk soon...

Nope, it didn't come today either. I am going crazy! It has been 3 1/2 weeks since my interview and I need to know before I go on Spring Break. I already have the entire desk staff searching through the mail and putting me on speed dial if they see anything! Pretty soon they'll have enough, revolt and ban me from setting foot near the desk (even though I work there too!).

What can I do from keeping myself from going absolutely mad while I wait in anticipation for this letter to arrive? Listen to music? No! I ended up listening to Disney songs which made me more anxious. Watch TV? NO! I saw a commercial for WDW and I cried a little on the inside. Go down and hang out with my friends at the desk? No, then I start looking at the mailbox and whine a bit. How about play a game, wait that doesn't work because all I ever want to play is Disney Trivia! So I had the brilliant idea of going online, that will distract me.

Did I just forget that I spend about 93% of my time online on either the Disney CP facebook group or on the DIS boards? So this is why I am updating and you get to read a long, rambling post.

Other than being extremely anxious and excited about 23 1/2 hours a day I have been a tad overwhelmed with classes, which isn't good because I need to keep my scholarship and stay in ODK which requires me to maintain a 3.0 GPA. I am going to spend this entire weekend catching up on work for all of my classes. This will hopefully help me get back in the game and get focused on what I need to do.

Well, since I just e-mailed the recruiting e-mail address since it's been over 3 weeks and I haven't heard anything (and they said to e-mail them if that happened) I think I'll get away from the computer for awhile and watch some Family Feud while I wait for my friend to get dinner.

Have a great day!

Nope.

Well Angela called me to tell me that the mail has finally arrived, and there was nothing for me in it. Oh well, I thought today was the day but i guess it wasn't.

Peace out cub scouts!

The mail's late, and I'm going crazy!

The mail usually gets to my building around 11am, but today it's almost 2 and it's still not here. It's not that I'm expecting my letter today, I just REALLY want it (as does my mother who is living on the DIS boards until I get it, hehe). So what am I doing to keep sane you ask? Music, lots and lots of music. Oh, and the facebook group of course!

[NOTE] Fallon! I am so sorry that you were not told the requirements when you self termed and I am sad that we won't get to work together, but keep you head up and try for the next semester! <3

I just called our front desk where my friend Melissa is working right now to see if the mail came, it hasn't. Oh well, let me just try and forget it while I listen to music while reading my Family Counseling book. Sorry if this is a random and crazy post, but as you can tell I am quite anxious! Hahaa!

have a great day!

Finding my Laughing Place

So, I am still waiting for that darn letter to come from Disney telling me how amazing it would be if I came and did the Disney College Program (haha...a girl can dream, can't she?). Usually I'd be off the wall with anticipation and anxious every minute, but I'm not. The reason being quite simple actually! Our Disney CP Fall 08 Facebook group, or as we said in our nightly chat last night our "extended family!" That's really what it seems like.

None of of have ever met each other, there are 170ish students from across the United States with completely different backgrounds and interests with one thing in common: our love for Disney! It is truly amazing!

I love my CP Facebook friends, and our nightly chats really give us a way to de-stress and get to know each other better. Heck, we're all going to be there together anyway right?

So here's to you (Mrs. Robinson) my fellow facebook CPs: We can do this thing!! Those of us waiting for auditions, letters or just waiting for it to be May, June or August! We'll do it our way! We're gonna rock! :D

Home for the weekend...

I had to go home for the weekend to go to a very important doctor's appointment, so I wasn't really able to update this at all. Basically all that happened was I went to the Dr.'s office, got blood taken for different tests, got put on medication that will help for my anxiety (YAY! Now I'll be less anxious while I'm waiting for my letter!) and just chilled out.

Other than that I have just been enjoying being home and hanging out with friends and the sibs. I'm watching Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (Tim Burton is my HERO) and keeping an eye on the girls while they play in the snow outside. I really don't want to go back to campus, but if I don't I will miss a staff meeting and not get my hw done (and trust me...I need to work on my hw, I want to make it to Disney, right?).

Well that's it for right now, I just didn't want to leave everyone hanging :-p

Have a great day!